Ahhhhh, A New Year. Where did 2012 go? A lot happened in the year 2012. The world ending was what I was MOST prepared for. There were ups and there were downs. There were moves. One only 114 miles away from my home. The other move was 1783 miles away from home. It has found me in an interesting melting pot which is called Texas. It is a pretty big state, but all in all I love it down here in the Lone Star State.
As I am writing this today, Curmudgeon # 2 is watching a Sesame Street Episode about having healthy teeth. It really makes a person wonder how people come up with ideas. Captain Super Ultra Mega Smile Man. It doesn't get much better than him dancing around to a song called "Brush, Brush, Brush your teeth", to the tune of Katy Perry's "E.T." Quite funny actually. He is so trying to be "healthy". This is what they teach him in school, which is good for me because Curmudgeon #1 is the pickiest eater I have ever met. Some days I cant handle it, like this morning. The child survives on peanut butter and honey sandwiches at school. He HAS to be sick of eating it because I am sick of making it. He actually tasted a Cherry Frosted Pop Tart today and said it was disgusting. I just looked at him and walked away so I wouldn't loose my mind at 6a.m. this morning.
I am on a health kick. Which means my entire family better be along for the ride. I am done buying crap at the store and so if you come to my house and want something to eat, you better be prepared for some fresh fruit and veggies and nuts and grains. I am trying to get on the "Clean Eating" kick. It is really hard when you give birth to picky asses. It will all work out in the end, I guess.
In my quest for getting healthy, I went to Walmart today to buy a bathroom scale. I had one. Key word.... HAD. I broke it. The thing made me angry. I hated it. What a pain in the ass it was. It was the one with just a dial on it but it had the little markers so you could keep track of your progress. I didn't keep track of my progress, I kept tracks of the husbands. He is truly a pain in the ass. He would have one on one number and another on a slightly smaller number. My little marker was about 2 inches past his... not on the down side. UGH. Like I said, I hate scales. Which is funny. I am a Libra. My sign is a scale. I balance things out. I love being a Libra. I love the balance. Anyway, I bought an LED scale. It doesn't have makers. The only evidence there will be of my weight is the goal line on my Fitness Pal, which ironically went up since I bought the scale about 2 hours ago. Sorry, I lost track. So I went to Walmart in search of the scale I read the reviews for last night. You would think the "BATHROOM" scales would be... I don't know... lets say... in the BATH department. Ya. Then I remember, "Oh ya. I am in Walmart, use your brain where other people possible haven't". All I find in the BATH department are things you would find in your bathroom. You know... Towels, waste baskets, toothbrush holders, that kind of stuff. I then have the great thought they would be over where they sell the shelves and extra stuff you would put in your BATHROOM.... A whole different department clear on the other side of the store. I searched. Guess what I came up with? NOTHING. As I am thinking to myself, while standing by the toilet seats, what would happen if I started screaming "ALL I WANT IS A BATHROOM SCALE AND A FREAKING WALMART EMPLOYEE TO BE AVAILABLE AND READY TO ASSIST WHEN I NEED ONE". The thought crossed my mind and then I remembered I had Jaymeson with me and he could learn some potentially bad behavior and since I am really working on him not throwing fits, I figured it would be best if I didn't. But seriously, it seems like the only time you are ever approached by a Walmart employee asking if you need help finding something is when you are in the tampon section or buying yeast infection cream. And then of course, it is either someone you see every morning at Starbucks or they are ridiculously good looking. So, I put off my search for the perfect bathroom scale in search for the perfect Walmart employee to direct me in the direction I need to go. Of course, there are NONE to be found. I must have "that look" on my face because a nice gentleman approaches me and asks if I need help with something. Of course, he isn't in the "Walmart Blue" or anything but he has emerged from the Electronic Department. Remember the statement above about being ridiculously good looking? Yes, that happens here. You have to remember, I have had NO motivation. Not even to shower. So, I have my hair slicked back in a pony tail and I have a hat on my head and I am wearing none other than yoga pants, a tank and a hoodie (it seems that is all i wear anymore). No make up. Nothing. Actually, I had been cleaning the house before I went to Walmart and I am sure I didn't even use deodorant today. So this was the conversation I had with the "ridiculously good looking sales person from Walmart, also known as RGLSPFW";
RGLSPFW: "How may I help you?"
ME: "All I want is a bathroom scale."
RGLSPFW: "Like the kind you stand on to weigh your self?"
ME: Thinking to myself to actually say no the kind you hang your fish from, but I don't and I say ever so politely "Yes, that kind."
RGLSPFW: "They are right over here by the toilet seats."
ME: "That is ridiculous. I looked there, there aren't there." (Remembering my little tantrum I wanted to throw a few minutes before this)
RGLSPFW: "Well that is weird, they were here just three days ago. I bought one myself. Trying to get in shape and needed a scale"
ME: Thinking to myself that he really probably doesn't need to get in shape but is looking at me and just wanted to make me feel good about buying a scale.
RGLSPFW: "Can you stand here for a minute and I will find the scales for you? I will be right back."
ME: "Yes, I will stand right here."
So here is me waiting for a few minutes.
RGLSPFW: "I found them. You wont believe where they are. The are over in the automotive section."
ME: "OK. I have heard it all for a day. Automotive? Really? That is sort of ridiculous."
RGLSPFW: "Well instead of putting it in your bathroom, maybe you can put it in your garage."
Me thinking to myself... Cute.. he has a sense of humor.
RGLSPFW: "This is the scale I bought. If you need any more help, you know where to find me."
ME: "Yep. Electronics."
RGLSPFW: "I actually don't work here. I work at Time Warner Cable. Here is my card if you ever need anything."
ME: Thanks, you." (As I feel like Vivian in Pretty Woman when Edward hands her his business card, minus the whole prostitute thing).
How nice was it for some guy to help me out and not even work there. I have no idea if he went on the search for a Walmart employee or if he decided to search for the scales on his own. Either way, I have decided that the Angel Therapy I do on a daily basis is working. Some guardian angel saw that I was about to blow in the toilet seat section at Walmart. Lucky for me and the others around that didn't happen.
Oh ya, I haven't mentioned yet that I am working with around 1200 calories a day and none of them are from coffee, so me being so irrational in the toilet seat section makes a lot of sense to me. I think I will up my calories and treat myself to a coffee and see what happens.
Anyway, here is hoping you are having a fabulous new year and that you can also find your guardian angels in the place you least expect them. Oh ya... and if you are single and thinking about throwing yourself out in the dating world, may I suggest you hang in the Electronics Department at Walmart. You never know where you will meet "Mr. Right", or for some of you, " Mr. Good Enough For Right Now".
