Mammograms & Elves. Really? It's 5 O'Clock in the Morning.

My mind works in mysterious ways.   I woke up this morning at 2:25 A.M.  I have so many thoughts going through my head right now... as with everyday.  I try and sort through these thoughts one at a time and it just turns into a gigantic conundrum that turns my brain in to overdrive.

My first thought when I awoke this morning was how badly my boobs hurt.  It isn't because I am going through any monthly cycle.  That was taken care of a year and a half ago, which, by the way, was the best decision I have ever made to date.  I just experienced what would have been my second mammogram.  Let me say that there has to be a better way to screen for breast cancer. I can honestly say this time hurt way worse.  I think it is because I am getting older and my pain tolerance is getting less and less as the years pass.  Maybe it was because they took about 6 different angles on each boobie to get a good picture.  Either way, they got pictures all the way into my under arms.  The first time I had it done, they offered me a piece of chocolate when I was finished.  This time, there was nothing.  The Military is really cutting back.  The radiologist that did my test was awesome as was the radiologist student (she was attending St. Philip's College here in San Antonio, so that was a sign).  There was  a point when I didn't think I was going to make it though.  The part where they get your boobie all up in the "squisher" and then go back to press the button that takes the picture....  they ask you to "hold your breath".  Ummmm, I started seeing stars.  It was really for about 10 seconds but that 10 seconds seemed like a lifetime.  Uggghhhh.  It really seemed like the pretty lights shades covering the fluorescent lights on the ceiling were closing in on me.  They then took me back to have a sonogram because I have been getting some swollen lymph nodes in my underarms.  The Doctor that looked at all of my stuff was amazing and explained everything they would look for in the event of breast cancer.  Everything on my tests looked great.  No worries.  I am chalking the swollen lymph nodes up to stress, a concept that tends to have a negative impact on one's mental and physical well-being, colds, anti-perspirant use and tattoo removal.  The tattoo removal makes the most sense.  All of that ink goes straight to your lymph system.   But my boobs still hurt. 

The next thing to enter my mind is the arrival of our newest family member. Currently his name is Elf.  That will be changed as soon as the bundle of joy arrives to our little place in the South.  The boys wanted a brother.  This was the best I could do.  No bottles, diapers, vomit and the investment was  only $30.00 and a few minutes of my precisious time.  Hmmmm, until the boys decide they need a baby sister and then they will both need clothes.  They are quite excited about the arrival though.  They ask me about it at the most inconvienant times also.  I have been asked three times in the last week when I am due by teachers and one friend.  When I tell them I am due in about 7 more sleeps, they look at me as if I havent eaten enough during my pregnancy.  Dont get me wrong, Im not all size 5 or anything like that, but I definetly don't look 9 months pregnant.  My children are going to need therapy.  Especially the youngest.  He is just like me.  He is a believer.  You tell him a story and he will go with that being the truth until the very last person on this earth has told him otherwise.  I can remember some of the childhood stories my parents told me.  A few that come to my mind...  Big Rock Candy Mountain, how the hills get their "hump's, where Salt Water Taffy is made and how babies are made.  I still believe in Big Rock Candy Mountain and I laugh everytime I see a big rolling hill. I remember the day I learned where babies are made.  It was 4th grade.  I could name names of who was with me on that dreaded day of Sex Ed.  I was mortified.  To say the least.  I am afraid of the day when my oldest comes home from school knowing that he didn't just magically appear in my belly one day and then was born by just popping out of my belly button.  I will be the first to admit I wish it was that easy.  He keeps asking questions so I know the day isn't that far off.  My youngest will never come home and ask.  He will jump in the car of a complete stranger and ask how babies are made then ask that person to take him to the store to buy him a doughnut.  That's how he rolls.
I'm not sure what is worse.  Having the sex talk with your child or finding your child in a doughnut shop with a complete stranger.  I keep telling the boys' father that he will be the one giving them "the talk".  If we would have had girls, the tables would be turned.  I am so thankful we don't have girls.  Well, I wasn't thankful yesterday walking past a girls clothing store called Justice.  Furry boots, sparkly shirts, ruffly skirts and feathery scarves.  I have never wanted to be 10 again in my entire life. 

I am all for the Elf.  Maybe I will keep him around all year long.  Maybe he will keep the boys in check for Santa.  Maybe, just maybe I can have one more year of innocence where the boys' believe in everything I tell them.  Hmmm.  We will see.  I do know that in the 25 days before christmas, I am going to have a blast using my list of "101 Elf ideas". 

Flu bugs and Med Spas.....

Today, for the second day in a row, I have a sick child at home.  He kept complaining about his belly hurting for the last few days.  Yesterday was the fever.  Today is the fun stuff.  He has about 2 more hours to feel better before I take him into the Dr. 

Yesterday was my day to find a job.  I went to a few places in San Antonio, I put a few miles on my car.  I went everywhere.  There were a few places I couldn't find due to my navigator being... fractious.  At one point when Lola told me "My destination was on the right", I looked over and to my right was a train, going down a track.  On the left was a golf course.  The Medical Spa I was trying to find was no where in the vicinity.  That happened a few times yesterday.  The funnest place I went to was one of my first choices while searching online.   Let's just say, I was heading down the interstate and I realized "Lola" was taking me straight to the Inner City.  I know that seems weird for San Antonio, but there is a few blocks of Inner City happening down there.  It is bizarre.  So I pull into the parking lot, which was dirt and rocks and pot holes, and there was a Teen Pregnancy and STD center.  Next to that was a baby item store, an OBGYN and then the Medical Spa.  Oh and the little center shared a parking lot with some sort of bus depot thing.  So I get that having an OBGYN in the same place as a Medical Spa is pretty cool, but I have instincts and my instincts told me that if I ended up working there that one day after work I would go to the parking spot I parked my car in and it would be gone.  It may be the nicest place in the world to work, but I'm not that desperate, yet! 

I am hoping to get a call back from one of the places I put my resume in at.  It is a cute little place, in my favorite part of town, close to my house and next to my favorite coffee shops in San Antonio.  I hope I get a call.  I have never prayed so much in my life for something. 

I am not having much of a sense of humor lately.  I am tired.  I think I have a bug.  I have been emotional and tired.  I will have a fun story Friday, though, because I have to have a mammogram.  Those always seem to bring out the humor in everyone. Hopefully by then my "Children of the Candy Corn" will be feeling better. 

I have to run.  The number 2 "Children of the Corn" will be home from school soon.  I hope his back pack is empty.  He informed me the other day that he would like a pet cock roach.  Ugh.  I can tell you all right now, Pet Cock Roaches are not in my future.  Hedge Hogs, Guinea Pigs, Hamsters, Chickens....  NOT COCK ROACHES.