My mind works in mysterious ways. I woke up this morning at 2:25 A.M. I have so many thoughts going through my head right now... as with everyday. I try and sort through these thoughts one at a time and it just turns into a gigantic conundrum that turns my brain in to overdrive.
My first thought when I awoke this morning was how badly my boobs hurt. It isn't because I am going through any monthly cycle. That was taken care of a year and a half ago, which, by the way, was the best decision I have ever made to date. I just experienced what would have been my second mammogram. Let me say that there has to be a better way to screen for breast cancer. I can honestly say this time hurt way worse. I think it is because I am getting older and my pain tolerance is getting less and less as the years pass. Maybe it was because they took about 6 different angles on each boobie to get a good picture. Either way, they got pictures all the way into my under arms. The first time I had it done, they offered me a piece of chocolate when I was finished. This time, there was nothing. The Military is really cutting back. The radiologist that did my test was awesome as was the radiologist student (she was attending St. Philip's College here in San Antonio, so that was a sign). There was a point when I didn't think I was going to make it though. The part where they get your boobie all up in the "squisher" and then go back to press the button that takes the picture.... they ask you to "hold your breath". Ummmm, I started seeing stars. It was really for about 10 seconds but that 10 seconds seemed like a lifetime. Uggghhhh. It really seemed like the pretty lights shades covering the fluorescent lights on the ceiling were closing in on me. They then took me back to have a sonogram because I have been getting some swollen lymph nodes in my underarms. The Doctor that looked at all of my stuff was amazing and explained everything they would look for in the event of breast cancer. Everything on my tests looked great. No worries. I am chalking the swollen lymph nodes up to stress, a concept that tends to have a negative impact on one's mental and physical well-being, colds, anti-perspirant use and tattoo removal. The tattoo removal makes the most sense. All of that ink goes straight to your lymph system. But my boobs still hurt.
The next thing to enter my mind is the arrival of our newest family member. Currently his name is Elf. That will be changed as soon as the bundle of joy arrives to our little place in the South. The boys wanted a brother. This was the best I could do. No bottles, diapers, vomit and the investment was only $30.00 and a few minutes of my precisious time. Hmmmm, until the boys decide they need a baby sister and then they will both need clothes. They are quite excited about the arrival though. They ask me about it at the most inconvienant times also. I have been asked three times in the last week when I am due by teachers and one friend. When I tell them I am due in about 7 more sleeps, they look at me as if I havent eaten enough during my pregnancy. Dont get me wrong, Im not all size 5 or anything like that, but I definetly don't look 9 months pregnant. My children are going to need therapy. Especially the youngest. He is just like me. He is a believer. You tell him a story and he will go with that being the truth until the very last person on this earth has told him otherwise. I can remember some of the childhood stories my parents told me. A few that come to my mind... Big Rock Candy Mountain, how the hills get their "hump's, where Salt Water Taffy is made and how babies are made. I still believe in Big Rock Candy Mountain and I laugh everytime I see a big rolling hill. I remember the day I learned where babies are made. It was 4th grade. I could name names of who was with me on that dreaded day of Sex Ed. I was mortified. To say the least. I am afraid of the day when my oldest comes home from school knowing that he didn't just magically appear in my belly one day and then was born by just popping out of my belly button. I will be the first to admit I wish it was that easy. He keeps asking questions so I know the day isn't that far off. My youngest will never come home and ask. He will jump in the car of a complete stranger and ask how babies are made then ask that person to take him to the store to buy him a doughnut. That's how he rolls.
I'm not sure what is worse. Having the sex talk with your child or finding your child in a doughnut shop with a complete stranger. I keep telling the boys' father that he will be the one giving them "the talk". If we would have had girls, the tables would be turned. I am so thankful we don't have girls. Well, I wasn't thankful yesterday walking past a girls clothing store called Justice. Furry boots, sparkly shirts, ruffly skirts and feathery scarves. I have never wanted to be 10 again in my entire life.
I am all for the Elf. Maybe I will keep him around all year long. Maybe he will keep the boys in check for Santa. Maybe, just maybe I can have one more year of innocence where the boys' believe in everything I tell them. Hmmm. We will see. I do know that in the 25 days before christmas, I am going to have a blast using my list of "101 Elf ideas".
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