Smurfs, Wizards, Cats...Oh My.

Anyone out there remember the Smurfs? You know... they are tiny, (three-apples tall),  blue creatures who live in mushroom houses in a village hidden in the forest and speak a dialect which makes heavy use of the word "smurf". The root word "smurf" is used extensively as a noun, verb, and everything in-between. Well, Smurfs is on the agenda for the day.  Jaymeson thinks they are hilarious.  I have been sucked in as well so today's blog is going to be about the Smurfs.  Stick around.  You may learn a thing or two.  This information could actually come in very handy as you never know when you will need to have an intellectual conversation with someone regarding The Smurfs. 
 
Did you know:

• There are over 100 Smurfs inside the Smurf Village.
• The Smurfs are led by Papa Smurf, who is 543 years old. 
• Papa Smurf is also a wizard.
• The word Smurf is Flemish
• The English Translation of the above is "Whatchamacallit".
• Papa Smurf reminds me of Willie Nelson.

I have compared certain Smurfs to certain friends and family.  I have also done this with ABBA songs, but that will have be a different blog, as today I only am going to have time for the Smurfs. 

Lazy Smurf : Lazy is perhaps the most aptly named Smurf in the village. Almost certifiably narcoleptic, Lazy can fall asleep anywhere, anytime, day or night. I have a friend (not naming names) who is like this.  We could be in a night club and all of sudden she would be sleeping.  I always wondered if it was narcotic induced. 

Handy Smurf : Handy wears a pencil in his ear and helps fix things in the village. Handy is known for his amazing technological creations. The rest of the Smurfs have a bit of a Luddite bent and often criticize (and eventually abandon) Handy's inventions.  My sisters Boyfriend, Jim is like this.  He can fix anything.  If he cant, he will find a way to get it done.  He cant stand things left undone, so if it is started, you can bet your butt that Riska Smurf (AKA Handy Smurf) wont sit until it is finished.  He is a good smurf to have on your team. 

Brainy Smurf : Brainy seems to be an expert on everything...but he's usually wrong. He publishes a series of missives entitled "Quotations of Brainy Smurf" - universally reviled by all (except himself, of course). Brainy's best friend is Clumsy.  We ALL know a Brainy Smurf.  My little sister... she isn't always wrong, but sometimes does make an ass of herself because she thinks she knows something.  Ha ha.  She has always been the smart one, but that seems to happen when you are the youngest of 4 girls.  You tend to catch on quickly. 

Clumsy Smurf : Clumsy Smurf is a kind soul who is often tripped up by his own two feet. Clumsy loves to collect rocks and his clothing seems to fit rather loosely, adding to his clumsy appearance.  Clumsy Smurf AKA Lori Smurf...  lets just say, don't ever give her chocolate cake when she is sitting near white carpet. 

Reporter Smurf : Reporter Smurf is the news reporter for the Smurf Village. Reporter Smurf wears a newsroom-style visor on his head and carries a quill and notepad. Reporter interviews various Smurfs for publication in his newspaper, which he prints using his printing press, which is maintained by Handy Smurf.  LOL.  Reporter Smurf AKA Angi Smurf.  We were so excited when she got at job at the Courthouse in our hometown... so she could keep us in the know on the happenings of all the other people.  No secrets here. 

Gargamel : The evil Gargamel is a wizard who spends his days trying to capture, eat, and otherwise destroy the Smurfs. Gargamel is absolutely obsessed with the Smurfs and lives for the day he is victorious over our little blue buddies.  Gargamel reminds me of my little sisters Father-in-law.  Not because he is evil or anything, but just his voice and his look in the Smurfs.  He just reminds me of Brad. 

Azrael : Gargamel has a long-suffering sidekick named Azrael. Azrael is a tough, mangy cat who compounds the Smurfs' problems when they're being chased by Gargamel.  Who doesn't have a cat like Azrael.  I currently live with one.  Willis has never caught a smurf but he has caught alot of other unsuspecting animals.  Oh, and bugs.  A cockroach in recent times. 

Chlorhydris : Chlorhydris is an evil witch who despises (and is committed to destroying) love. A nasty, nonredeemable woman as ugly as she is vile.  Haha... Who DOESN'T know one of these.  Like I said above, I am not naming names but are you amazed yet at how the Smurfs are like Real Life?  

Smurfette : Smurfette was created by Gargamel to destroy the Smurfs - and she was originally a brunette! Papa Smurf's magic changed her nature (and her hair color). Smurfette loves flowers and the color pink. Smurfette is one of three female Smurfs in the village - but she was the first.  And of course, we cant forget about the unforgettable Smurfette.  I compare myself alot to her.  She tries to keep peace in the village, she was once brunette but is now blond, she loves her house clean and she was put on the "SMURTH" to destroy an entire village of unsuspecting men. How could I be any more like her.  Lol. 

While on this Smurf-a-thon there is one age old question that remains on my mind.  Why does Gargamel keep chasing after the Smurfs?  He always tries to make them into stew and he is never successful.  He keeps trying.  I don't know...  If it was me trying to catch a snickers and the snickers kept getting away, I would have stopped trying for the snickers and went after... I don't know...  maybe a twix?   I should have taken this approach while trying to catch myself a husband.  After all of those years, it makes complete sense to me now. 

You may go on with your day now.  I have things to do, like check my Twitter to see what John Cusack has to say today.  He is my only friend on Twitter, ya know, which is fine by me.  I will save my love of John for another blogging day.  Part of me wants him to know about and understand my love for him... another part of me doesn't want to go to jail for stalking a movie star. 




 

It isn't a Super Hero.

Rise and shine.  That was my motto for the day.  Well, my actual motto had a few choice words in also but remember... I am not being negative on here.  I rose... I am shining.  I just got home from picking up 30, yes 30 snicker doodles at this awesome little bakery called The Daily Bread on Broadway.  Because Justin is my child and everything HAS to be difficult, he wanted snicker doodles delivered to his classroom for his birthday party.  Remember back in the day when your mom could make homemade cupcakes for your class?   It probably cost about $1.99 for 48 cupcakes and that included the frosting.  Well I can tell you right now these snicker doodles DID NOT cost $1.99.  They didn't cost $10.00.  Nope we are talking upwards of $37.50.  I ordered a coffee when I was there and they threw that in for free... But I ate one of the snicker doodles and let me tell you...  even though they aren't in any way, shape or form as good as my snicker doodles, they are pretty good.  I am impressed and the fact it puts a smile on my baby's face makes it all worth the money spent. 

On to the next.  I took the boys to the bus stop as I do every morning.  The three of us always have a conversation while walking there.  Today's topic was eye color.  The boys have the most fabulous blue eyes.  They got them from their father and pretty much the entire Jacobs side of the family.  I carried these small little curmudgeons for 9 months and they resemble nothing of their mother or her side of the family.  Anyway, eye color....this is the conversation:

Justin:          "Mom, how come your eyes aren't blue?"
Me:              "Because my eyes are green. That is what god wanted my eyes to look like."
Justin:          "Why?"
Jaymeson     "My blue eyes have the stars in them."
Me:               "Yes they do."
Justin:           "Mom, You are the Green Eyed Monster."
Jaymeson:     "You're not a monster, you are a beautiful princess."
Me:                "Jaymeson, thank you.  Justin, is that a bad thing?"
Justin:            "Well, it isn't a good thing."

The bus then arrives and that is the end of that conversation.  I have been thinking about the Green Eyed Monster since then and have been wondering what it is.  I was thinking a super hero.  That would be awesome if my almost 6 year old thought I was a super hero.  Upon returning home from the above mentioned cookie joint, I looked it up on google, which made me feel guilty because I was listening to a thing this morning about how people now-a-days are "dunces" because we don't know how to use books anymore.  We have our phones and can just look it up.  ANYWAY, The Green Eyed Monster.....  There are many ways to describe it and it isn't a super hero... but the most common way is referring to jealousy.

Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust. It is not to be confused with envy.

Since I feel like Justin has "old soul" qualities this kind of makes me sad.  I used to be a very jealous person.  Can he sense this?  I grew up, moved on and only let jealousy come into my life occasionally and I quash it very quickly.  Nothing good can come out of jealousy.  I have 3 sisters.  Could you imagine if I let jealousy control me?   I think it made me sad also that The Green Eyed Monster isn't a Super Hero.  Justin has to do show and tell with something that begins with "S".  I was thinking that I could be his Green Eyed Monster Super Hero.  Guess not. 

With that, I am going to walk to the bus stop to get my second born child.  I am hoping today he doesn't want another baby brother or a pony today.  I don't think I will be able to handle the fall out. 

PTA, Mentoring, Volenteering in a Library? I am in heaven.

I am so tired today.  I want to take a nap.  I am going to attempt one here in a little bit.  Wish me luck. 

Jaymeson just got home from school.  At school he eats breakfast.  This is after he eats breakfast at home.  Today at school he had some sort of Mexican breakfast.  Sausage links rolled up in some yummy kind of dough.  In reality, sausage wrapped in anything is delightful.  He thought it was wonderful too.  He got home and quickly devoured 2 hot dogs (in buns), a handful of Cheetos and some scrambled eggs.  He is going to be a very large kid.  He already is huge. 

We have soccer tonight.  YAY!!!! my dreams of becoming a soccer mom are coming true, minus the whole mini van thing.   All I need now is a concave belly to go with it, right?  Our first soccer game is at the end of the month.  I am so excited.  You can't even imagine.  I'm not sure why I am so excited.  I'm not a sports fan.  Really.... I'm not.  I like to go to sporting events for the "social aspect" of it all.  I can never just get into a football game.  I like  Major League Baseball only for the fabulous pretzels and hot dogs you get at concessions and I love that they will bring you a beer or two and you never have to leave your seat.  Justin wants to play sports.  He wants to play every sport there is on this earth.  He is really good at alot of them.  But when I was trying to explain soccer to him, he just got out there, started kicking the ball and making goals.  I was so impressed.  I am guessing that is why I am so excited.  I don't have to teach him how to do it. 

This morning I went to Northwood Elementary School (Justin's school) to a PTA coffee.  You are looking at the newest member of the TEXAS PTA!  I can't wait.  I have always wanted to be on the PTA.  My dreams are coming true.  I also signed up to be a mentor and I was leaving the library and was asked if I wanted to volunteer in there.  I am thinking to myself... YES!!  My dream.  I have secretly wanted to be a librarian.  GO UNICORNS.

Ugh, this is enough for today.  I have to close my eyes.  I must.  My right eye has begun twitching.  I just got over the left one twitching.  If one single thing will end me up in a mental institution, it is eye twitching. 

You want a WHAT?

For those of you that know me, you will know the following blog will NEVER happen in my current lifetime. 

Yesterday at precisely 11:25 a.m. Central Time, my second born child, Jaymeson got off the bus and the first thing out of his mouth wasn't "Mommy,  I missed you", nor did I get the standard "Hello".  What I got put me in shock for the remainder of the afternoon.  He gets off the bus and says "Mommy, I want a baby brother.  Lets go buy one".  REALLY?????  My response was my standard "What did you learn in school today, lover?"  His response was simply that he wants a little brother.  We walked back to the "Hamsterball" (our name of the apartment we are currently living in) and I made him lunch.  He then showed me all of his school work.  He drew 6 pictures for his new little brother.  He proceeded to tell a few neighbors, strangers and the girls at the Renting Office that he was getting a new little brother.  I, of course, picked up the pieces behind him and explained that "No, we aren't getting a little brother".  So the day progressed, we went back to the bus and at approximately 3:05 p.m. Central time, Justin got off the bus.  The first thing Jaymeson says to Justin is "Brother, Justin, we are going to get a little brother today at the store".  Justin (in his little lisp from the front tooth that is hanging by a thread) says "Oh Man, I thought we were going to get Hedgehogs".   Hedgehogs.... I can handle hedgehogs.  Little babies?  Ya, been there, did that.  Moving on to the next popular thing.  Don't get me wrong.  I love babies.  I loved my babies.  Would I have a do over?  Ummmmm, no.  I had these two little "Children of the Corn on the Cob" about 15 months apart.  They were both in diapers and drinking bottles at the same time for quite some time together.  Nights were long, as they both never slept a whole night, nor did they wake up at the same time together every night either.  It was staggered.  I was a haggard mess.  I am sad they are growing up because one day the wont need me like they do right now.  But seriously, put a little baby in my arms and I turn onto a little freak.  I actually don't hold little babies anymore.  I held one about 2 years ago at his little birth (my nephew Brayden) but that was it.  As he got older he didn't want ANYONE but his mom and dad to hold him.  Brayden and I finally did a little bonding session this last summer, but he is the last baby.  (Well, until the nieces and nephews start having babies)

So the day goes on.  I feed my children snacks.  Start getting dinner out of the freezer to have done by  6:00 for the boys.  They ask me if they can play the "weapon game" and I tell them they can play it until someone gets "fake" stabbed in the heart.  This takes about 3.5 seconds and we put in the movie G-Force.  If you have never watched this movie... You should.  Yes, it is about some gerbils or hamsters (aren't they the same thing) that try to save the world from some evil guy that is trying to exterminate all rodents on earth... I think.  I can't get over the AWESOME soundtrack.  Usually by the end of the movie, Justin is on the floor working on his "Head Spin" and Jaymeson is dancing like a typically white guy...  (his dad taught him the moves, I am sure of it).  But today, TODAY while watching it, Justin was crying at the end.  When I say crying, once again he was sobbing like a little baby.  Tears, snot...  everything. Jaymeson was quiet and then I realized he was sleeping, upright, in his recliner.  He is such a man.  I asked Justin what was up.  His response: "All I want is a hedgehog. I promise I will take care of it, I promise it can sleep with me.  Please mom... PLEASE can I have a hedgehog?  I miss the Chickens".  (The chickens are ANOTHER story)  Jaymeson wakes up during this and both are on me about Hedgehogs.  Being the COOL, AWESOME mom I am, I logged on to the computer and promptly started looking up hedgehog breeders.  I was shocked.  They are so cute.  There are so many of them.  THEY ARE SO EXPENSIVE!  Who would have thought that a hedgehog could cost $240.00.  Not only that but I would have to fly to Mississippi to get said hedgehogs... Yes, plural, because I have to get two.  I was thinking they would cost $40.00.  You know.. like the cost of a bunny.  How mistaken was I?  I am sure this weekend will be spent going to pet stores looking for the perfect hedgehog.  Quite honestly, I can't wait.  I think it will be fun, and I think having a hedgehog or two will be so much fun for the boys. 

Wish me luck in the quest for finding the perfect hedgehog.  Jaymeson really wants to name his "Donut".  I am sure Justin will want to name his "Justin".  I don't care what they name their pets, as long as I don't have to explain to them quite yet where babies do actually come from.  I know when that time comes, they will both be mortified like I was and it will be then, that I start the expensive therapy they are going to need. 

Cops, Robbers and Cockroaches?

Woke up this morning as usual.  3:15 am, Jaymeson comes into my bedroom to say he is scared.  There is a monster under his bed that made his feet cold.  I love the imagination on that child.  It is always something.  5:00 am comes pretty early when you have to get your 4 year old back to bed  and the only way to do it is to succumb to his demands of "tickle my arm"... in his 4 year old Boston Accent.  (We are not from Boston). 

Justin's lunch escaped my mind this morning.  I was focusing on other things.  Him having to have "hot lunch" at school would have deemed another breakdown.  Soooo, lunch was made with 3 minutes to get them to the bus.  I am SOOOO awesome. 

We are counting down the days till his birthday.  Last night was his official breakdown on this new "adventure".  He was crying so hard, my shirt was soaking from tears and snot.  Poor child.  He said he misses his cousins.... and that you cant have a birthday without cousins.  His response was "I guess I will stay 5 another year".  I has to explain to him that would be a great idea because I could be 25 for another year (yes, I lied to my children and told them I was only 25).  So it is off to Sea World for a 6th birthday.  I will never win best birthday mom again in my life, as last year on Jaymeson's birthday we went to Disneyland.  I didn't think that one through.  Oh well.  Everyone has a less than stellar moment as a mom.  

Soooo, this morning at the bus stop, after the kids left, a police officer showed up at the "Villas".  Villas sounds so.... "Italian".  He went thru the gate of our gated community and i never saw him again.  In the meantime you could hear sirens also.  I was thinking I was living in my own episode of Bad Boys....  when all of a sudden a cockroach jumped out of the bushes at my feet.  Of course, I did the usual "Jackie Chan" move and I am sure I looked like an idiot when the sirens arrived at the Villas.  Seriously.  The first cockroach I saw was rather cute, just scurrying along trying to make his way in this big world, but I have learned that they like to hang in the bushes and rocks before the sun is actually up (which is when I take the kids to the bus).  They wouldn't freak me out so bad if they just minded their own business.  While I am walking in the early morning hours, you would think I am in a National Park, full of bears.  I make a lot of noise thinking that will scare off the cockroaches.  Next thing you know, I will be carrying around a cock roach bell.  Oh Lord.  I wonder if I could sell those here.  I wonder if cockroaches do respond to noise?  Hmmm, looks like some research is in my future.

While I was on the way back from the "Italian" fitness center here at the Villas, my hot sort of neighbor was sitting on that  was stolen.  I am not sure what he was talking about ( a car, a motorcycle) but I didn't stop because I had just done 6 miles on a "zone fitness program".  I got to my house as soon as could but now I want to know what was stolen.  I want to know if I actually live in the hood.  We may have to change the name of our Villas to "The Hood at Oakwell Park". 

Well, I am off to find my emotionally unstable 5 year old his birthday presents.  I have to find a Star Wars comforter and sheets, a Battleship Lego set and a Star Wars movie he has been wanting.  Oh ya, and I must find all the makings to put together a "Lego Cake".  Wish me luck readers.  This is a big city. 

Ahhh, so this is how this works!  Today.  A new day.  Monday, September 17, 2012.  What am I doing?  I am going to attempt a blog. 

What shall I write about?  What should I say?  When I can normally speak to a crowded room of people, why can't I find something to talk about on here? 

I guess I will start with who I am.  My name is Cheri.  I have been called Scary, Shelly, Sharon, Cherry...  but my name is Cheri.  I have 3 sisters,  no brothers and a mom and a dad who are all still living.  My family one day turned huge.  We are Catholic and as it goes, Catholics love to pro-create.  So my family, has grown to one of epic proportions.  There are the 6 of us and we "acquired" 16 more.   My dad calls my sisters and I "the Bitches".  I am sure from an outsider looking in, that seems so awful... but it isn't.  It is in fact true.  We are really close.  We do most everything together...(well, we did until my little move to Texas).  We have the same circle of friends, some we have known for our entire life and other have entered in our adult lives, but they are all our true friends and we share and a few have been adopted into the "Bitches Sisterhood". 

I am married.  The way I do things is a little different then most people.  I go backwards.  So, I got married, stayed married, bought a dog, got a cat and then had children.  My husband, who is usually very non-confrontational decided in his mid-life crisis, that he needed to go to school.  Yep. Except he does it BIG and backwards also.  He went to college when he was supposed to.  After high school.  He worked and went to college.  Then he decided to join the Army.  Then he decided to get out.  Then he decided to go back.  All was well until one day he decided to fulfill his dream of becoming a Physicians Assistant.  Not is a regular school, not with regular students, but through the Army.  Which brings us to our current place, Texas. 

Everything is bigger in Texas, except our apartment.  You could say we downsized.  The place we currently reside is quite possibly the size of a hamster ball.  We live here.  The 4 of us.  6 of us if you want to include the dog and the cat.  Did I mention the dog is a Jack Russell Terrier?  So, we live here.  The boys started school this year, Matt is in school this year and I am going to school this year.  My school will only take the better half of a month.  I am going to get my certification in Laser Skin Care.  I figure since I will turning 40 in a year and 6 days that I should get some kind of education to save my skin and my soul. 

I hope to write a  fascinating book some day.  It is my hopes that this blog can help me get what I want to write on paper.    It is also my hope that some one is inspired by my thoughts the way I have been inspired by a few chosen people.  I won't blog about negative things, as I believe the more negativity you put in your life and dwell on it, the less positive one's outlook turns.  I think this is going to be fun.