Smurfs, Wizards, Cats...Oh My.

Anyone out there remember the Smurfs? You know... they are tiny, (three-apples tall),  blue creatures who live in mushroom houses in a village hidden in the forest and speak a dialect which makes heavy use of the word "smurf". The root word "smurf" is used extensively as a noun, verb, and everything in-between. Well, Smurfs is on the agenda for the day.  Jaymeson thinks they are hilarious.  I have been sucked in as well so today's blog is going to be about the Smurfs.  Stick around.  You may learn a thing or two.  This information could actually come in very handy as you never know when you will need to have an intellectual conversation with someone regarding The Smurfs. 
 
Did you know:

• There are over 100 Smurfs inside the Smurf Village.
• The Smurfs are led by Papa Smurf, who is 543 years old. 
• Papa Smurf is also a wizard.
• The word Smurf is Flemish
• The English Translation of the above is "Whatchamacallit".
• Papa Smurf reminds me of Willie Nelson.

I have compared certain Smurfs to certain friends and family.  I have also done this with ABBA songs, but that will have be a different blog, as today I only am going to have time for the Smurfs. 

Lazy Smurf : Lazy is perhaps the most aptly named Smurf in the village. Almost certifiably narcoleptic, Lazy can fall asleep anywhere, anytime, day or night. I have a friend (not naming names) who is like this.  We could be in a night club and all of sudden she would be sleeping.  I always wondered if it was narcotic induced. 

Handy Smurf : Handy wears a pencil in his ear and helps fix things in the village. Handy is known for his amazing technological creations. The rest of the Smurfs have a bit of a Luddite bent and often criticize (and eventually abandon) Handy's inventions.  My sisters Boyfriend, Jim is like this.  He can fix anything.  If he cant, he will find a way to get it done.  He cant stand things left undone, so if it is started, you can bet your butt that Riska Smurf (AKA Handy Smurf) wont sit until it is finished.  He is a good smurf to have on your team. 

Brainy Smurf : Brainy seems to be an expert on everything...but he's usually wrong. He publishes a series of missives entitled "Quotations of Brainy Smurf" - universally reviled by all (except himself, of course). Brainy's best friend is Clumsy.  We ALL know a Brainy Smurf.  My little sister... she isn't always wrong, but sometimes does make an ass of herself because she thinks she knows something.  Ha ha.  She has always been the smart one, but that seems to happen when you are the youngest of 4 girls.  You tend to catch on quickly. 

Clumsy Smurf : Clumsy Smurf is a kind soul who is often tripped up by his own two feet. Clumsy loves to collect rocks and his clothing seems to fit rather loosely, adding to his clumsy appearance.  Clumsy Smurf AKA Lori Smurf...  lets just say, don't ever give her chocolate cake when she is sitting near white carpet. 

Reporter Smurf : Reporter Smurf is the news reporter for the Smurf Village. Reporter Smurf wears a newsroom-style visor on his head and carries a quill and notepad. Reporter interviews various Smurfs for publication in his newspaper, which he prints using his printing press, which is maintained by Handy Smurf.  LOL.  Reporter Smurf AKA Angi Smurf.  We were so excited when she got at job at the Courthouse in our hometown... so she could keep us in the know on the happenings of all the other people.  No secrets here. 

Gargamel : The evil Gargamel is a wizard who spends his days trying to capture, eat, and otherwise destroy the Smurfs. Gargamel is absolutely obsessed with the Smurfs and lives for the day he is victorious over our little blue buddies.  Gargamel reminds me of my little sisters Father-in-law.  Not because he is evil or anything, but just his voice and his look in the Smurfs.  He just reminds me of Brad. 

Azrael : Gargamel has a long-suffering sidekick named Azrael. Azrael is a tough, mangy cat who compounds the Smurfs' problems when they're being chased by Gargamel.  Who doesn't have a cat like Azrael.  I currently live with one.  Willis has never caught a smurf but he has caught alot of other unsuspecting animals.  Oh, and bugs.  A cockroach in recent times. 

Chlorhydris : Chlorhydris is an evil witch who despises (and is committed to destroying) love. A nasty, nonredeemable woman as ugly as she is vile.  Haha... Who DOESN'T know one of these.  Like I said above, I am not naming names but are you amazed yet at how the Smurfs are like Real Life?  

Smurfette : Smurfette was created by Gargamel to destroy the Smurfs - and she was originally a brunette! Papa Smurf's magic changed her nature (and her hair color). Smurfette loves flowers and the color pink. Smurfette is one of three female Smurfs in the village - but she was the first.  And of course, we cant forget about the unforgettable Smurfette.  I compare myself alot to her.  She tries to keep peace in the village, she was once brunette but is now blond, she loves her house clean and she was put on the "SMURTH" to destroy an entire village of unsuspecting men. How could I be any more like her.  Lol. 

While on this Smurf-a-thon there is one age old question that remains on my mind.  Why does Gargamel keep chasing after the Smurfs?  He always tries to make them into stew and he is never successful.  He keeps trying.  I don't know...  If it was me trying to catch a snickers and the snickers kept getting away, I would have stopped trying for the snickers and went after... I don't know...  maybe a twix?   I should have taken this approach while trying to catch myself a husband.  After all of those years, it makes complete sense to me now. 

You may go on with your day now.  I have things to do, like check my Twitter to see what John Cusack has to say today.  He is my only friend on Twitter, ya know, which is fine by me.  I will save my love of John for another blogging day.  Part of me wants him to know about and understand my love for him... another part of me doesn't want to go to jail for stalking a movie star.